How I measure happiness

How I measure happinessHow I measure happinessThe dialogue about happiness has not changed much for the past 3000 years since ancient Greek and Roman times.But people pretend that everything has changed and that more people are unhappy than ever. Thats supposed to be because were more connected than ever.You read it all the time. Technology makes people feel lonely and depressedI agree that technology itself has changed. But human nature has not. People have been unhappy, lonely, miserable, and sad since the abflug of modern civilization. We still ask ourselves questions likeDo I like my job?How about my house?Does my partner make me happy?How much money do I need to be happy?Weve been thinking like that for centuries. And if you have a similar thinking process, I can tell you that its wrong.Conventional thinking about happiness implies that other things or peoplemakeus happy. Have you ever thought about that?Why is it that we believesomethingalways has to make us happy?I think thats the biggest problem with happiness. Why do we keep associating happiness with external things like career, love, and money?When are you happy?When you have a job that you love? A good relationship with your partner? A bunch of money?But what about when you get bored with your job? Or when your relationship becomes impossible to bear? Or when your money never seems enough?Ive written about how I pursue usefulness instead of happiness.And that when you make yourself useful, you feel happy.A lot of people resonated with that idea because it puts ourselves in the drivers seat. But that raised an important question.How do I know Im happy?Its a question you can only ask when you think about this concept on a deeper level. You see, most of us never think about measuring happiness. Or, we simply assume we know how to do it.Yes, we can define our career, money, relationship, and health goals- and we make those things measurable.And yet, we dont measure the one thing that makes all those thi ngs worth it Our own happiness.Never rely on externals for your happinessThats my only measure for happiness. I ask myself Am I relying on something or someone to make me happy?I want my answer to be no. Let me explainI love my work, but it doesnt make me happy.I love my family, but they dont make me happy.I love my other half, but she doesnt make me happy.I just AM happy.Life is too short to go through personal suffering. We cant put our own happiness in other peoples hands.Happiness is astate of mind. Its entirely within your control.Just like you can make a decision to do something useful with your time, you can decide that you are happy.But nothing in my life makes me happy.There you go again Youre trapped in the old way of thinking. Its easy to blame your job, spouse, family, or even the world for your unhappiness.I meet people all the time who say that the world is an evil place. Yes, bad things happen to people. And yes, some people are evil. Im not going to pretend those thi ngs do not happen.But is that within your control? No. So get over yourself and dont let other thingsmakeyou miserable. Its time to stop being a cynic.Remember You dont need a reason to be happy. Thats the whole idea in one sentence. But saying it is very different from truly living it.All you need to do isbehappy - and you are.If you want to hear more thoughts on measuring happiness, listen to my latest podcast episode about it, oniTunes,Stitcher, orOvercast.This article first appeared on DariusForoux.com.